Lic Chom Feet: "...I will shake the heavens and the earth."

Again I forced a smile; they can see right through me, they can all see right through me. I can’t help myself; here I am on a bus leaving the place I love, the place that I call home, the place where everything just seems to make sense. I am on the bus surrounded by the people I care so much about, all the OR4 guys and gals and of course Brian, Rachel, and Abuelito. I know that they can see it in my eyes; no matter how hard I try I know that it is written all over my face. I hate this, I HATE this part; you know that time when every good thing comes to an end? How did five weeks already pass? All I can do is dread getting off the plane in New Mexico and having to once again readjust my life in America. I hold back the tears and think. I don’t want to remember it like this; I don’t want this to be the way I use these next 3-4 hours, gloating in my sadness. I must fully live in this moment instead of living and regretting where I am right now.

I recount all the memories I have made in the past two days; bonding with the Georgia team, jokes that will last a lifetime, and seeing a wedding in the central park. I’m going to miss it, but this isn’t a good bye this is Nik-Na (Achi), I am leaving now, but I will return. I will miss the smells, the ones of burning trash and bodily functions of animals. I will miss these people, from their incredible hospitality to their contagious smiles despite their poverty. I will miss being called Tia Fia by the little voices of my lovely nieces. I will miss fresh hot tortillas, which I can pack away just like any Guatemalan. But what I will miss most is this simple life. I will miss watching person after person family after family consistently clinging to God in spite of their situations.

I think of Adela. I have known Adela for two years now and this is the second time where I have been blessed to live with her. As she poured out her heart to me on our last night together I can’t help but be convicted of my faith. Here the unmarried 31 year old Adela sat telling me that she is here on faith, she has no supporters and there have been times where she has gone nights without eating, but somehow God has always provided. What faith. What an encouragement. Despite her many health problems, I have never heard a complaint out of her mouth; she is always singing, smiling, praising.

Tomorrow I will leave this land and return to my life in the states. Sometimes I feel like a cheat. I live in Guatemala, I fully live here. I am the person that I want to be a vessel that God can use, but then I go back to my ‘other life’ and sometimes I find that I have lost myself. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t feel as close to Him in the states as I do when I am here in Guate. Maybe that’s why I come down here every year. I know readjusting to the states is going to be hard, but I will choose to continue to listen to the voice of God in my life. I am thankful for this time that I have had here. I am thankful for the lifelong friends I have made. I cannot wait to see where God leads me next and where he leads the ministries of Guatemala!

PS : Also, I would just like to say that I just survived my first earthquake! I thinks it's a sign, I have angered the gods...!

My Lovely nieces